Being a woman is exhausting. From catcalling, to groping and spiking, every woman has a story. We go our entire lives being told what not to wear, not to go home alone, not to leave our drinks unattended, and essentially get comfortable being constantly aware of our vulnerability. Women are taught to fear men, but what has become increasingly apparent is that these ‘men’ aren’t just recluses and overtly creepy individuals hiding in alleyways, they’re also people well integrated and respected in our communities.
The year has just begun, and already we’ve seen: David Carrick’s heinous crimes come to light, Nicola Bulley found dead, the familicide of Emma Pattison and her daughter, and the murder of Brianna Ghey. It’s impossible to avoid what seems to be an omnipresent morbid reminder that you are never safe as a woman.
Seeing the news about David Carrick left me with a mountainous pit in my stomach. As women who do we trust? Where do we feel safe? The indisputable fact is, David Carrick is not an anomaly, there are over a thousand complaints against members of the Met Police force surrounding sexual assault and domestic violence at present. To say that Carrick’s case is ‘unbelievable’ is disappointing and a point blank lie. Sarah Everard’s name is still fresh in our minds, her horrific murder at the hands of Wayne Couzens was only in 2021. So quite frankly, it’s very believable and fair to assume there are more than just a handful of bad apples. Nicknames like ‘the rapist’ and ‘the bastard’ show that the temperaments of these men are not only known, but encouraged. Dangerous men are being protected, and women are dying as a result.
1 in 4 women have been raped or sexually assaulted as an adult
rape crisis England and Wales
Violence against women doesn’t start with rape, murder or physical assault. It starts with degradation, dehumanisation, and entitlement. So ‘locker room banter’ isn’t just banter, misongynistic jokes carry substantial weight, they propagate the notion that women are objects, and are less deserving of respect. The lack of accountability is quite frankly astonishing. Men refusing to acknowledge the insidious nature of their words highlights a myopic view of the issue. What people fail to see is the snowball effect that can ensue as a result, words can quickly become ideologies, which in turn can lead to verbal, then physical violence. The objectification of women is further hyperbolised by the media, where many boys and men can readily consume polarising content on a daily basis. The rise of ‘incel’ culture has created safe space for deviant men to spew vile and abasing vitriol toward women, radicalising impressionable individuals into upholding the same sentiments. Men like Andrew Tate are revered and given platforms to speak freely, and with content available on all forms of social media, you don’t even have to look hard to find yourself in a cesspit of misogyny.
Amidst the pandemic, a shocking statistic was unearthed. Domestic violence was on the rise. With stringent regulations restricting movement, many women were forced to be stuck with their abusers 24/7. A survey by Women’s Aid revealed that out of 31 women, 61.3% had experienced their abuse becoming worse. With no where to turn and no means to escape, constant gaslighting, emotional and physical abuse with no promise of respite for months, it’s unfathomable to think about how trapped so many people felt.
…when he had been abusive noone would come and help due to the Covid-19. Even when the police said it’s ok for someone to come to sit with me no-one would come.
women’s aid
All of this is without even discussing the harmful effects of pornography. Unrealistic standards surrounding sex further dehumanise women, allowing us to be viewed solely as tools for sexual gratification. Having infinite access to women through a screen without the need for consent can only distort real life expectations, which risks individuals developing various paraphilias. It’s impossible to deny how toxic and dangerous pornography is when categories surrounding rape are incredibly common. What’s even more repugnant is that many of these videos aren’t fictionally created in a studio. Women and children are being trafficked and raped in front of a camera, immortalising their trauma for anyone to see. The website Traffickinghub.com, founded in 2020, gives an insight into how prevalent this is on Pornhub, with a multitude of these cases involving minors. Just imagine how many are still flying under the radar. It seems there is no way to regulate the content being uploaded, and Pornhub are refusing to take action and safeguard victims, for what I can only assume is for monetary reasons. How disturbing to think the brutalisation of women and children is being profited from?
‘Pornhub features women being brutally abused – we have to shut it down’
metro
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have a story, whether it be about themselves or someone they know, tales of abuse and harassment are far too common. This transcends all races, sexualities, and religious beliefs. Only one common denominator is required: be a woman. Brianna Ghey reminds us that trans women’s experiences also align with our own. It’s important to acknowledge the intersectionality surrounding her murder, as well as dealing with transphobia, the fear of being a woman also rings true for many trans women.
So much needs to change. There’s a rife culture of victim blaming, which suggests that women deserve what happens to them. Questions such as ‘what was she wearing?’ are all too familiar, emphasising how the actions of men are consistently looked over, and women are seen to always have a hand in their downfall. As Nicola Bulley’s disappearance went on, the press took a distasteful turn. Her alleged drinking problem and menopause made headlines, creating a shameful narrative that somehow these were valid reasons to write her off as unstable rather than continuing to regard her as a missing person. Emma Pattison was no different, her established career as a headteacher in an affluent Independent school was apparently good enough reason for her murder, because God forbid a woman is more successful than her husband, right? Women are not to blame, instead we need to look into the deeper, systemic issues that are causing these tragedies to become commonplace.
This is a pandemic, and unlike Covid-19, we can’t accept it as a ‘new normal’. Until society stops excusing non-violent actions as ‘boys will be boys’, preventing the escalation into physical violence will continue to be difficult, and more women will suffer at the hands of these men.
WITHIN THE CITY 